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Mr Smith's new nose
'Well, Mr Smith, if you prefer a different type of nose, we have a large selection
available.'
'I think this nose is a bit too small.'
'Small noses are very fashionable this year, Mr Smith, very fashionable.'
'Do you think it suits me?' asked Mr Smith.
'I think it looks very nice,' said the shop assistant.
'OK, I'll take it!'
On the airbus home, Mr Smith called his wife on his wristphone.
'Hello dear! Do you like my new nose?'
Mrs Smith looked at her husband's new nose on the videophone monitor on the wall in
the
kitchen. 'I think it's a bit too small, dear,' she said.
'Small noses are very fashionable this year,' replied Mr Smith, 'very fashionable.' It's all
so easy now, thought Mr Smith. A hundred years ago, it was impossible to change your
body. Or almost impossible – there was the old-fashioned 'plastic surgery', but it was
expensive, painful and dangerous. Ugh! Now, thanks to our 22nd-century genetic
engineering, we can change our bodies when we want!
He looked at his new small nose in the mirror and thought about how fashionable he
was. He was very happy with his new nose. The only problem now, he thought, was
that he needed some new hair to go with his new nose.
He looked on the internet for some new hair, but the internet was so slow. Eventually
he
decided to go to Bodyco in person.
'Good morning, Mr Smith,' said the Bodyco shop assistant. 'How can I help you today?'
Mr Smith remembered the robot shop assistant in the Bodyco shop a few years ago.
The
robot was friendlier and more efficient, but too many robots made too much
unemployment
and the robot was replaced by a human.
'I'd like some new hair, please.'
'Certainly, Mr Smith. What type of hair would you like? Short, blond hair goes well
with a small nose. How about short, blond hair?'
Mr Smith looked at his hair. It was old and grey. Yes, he thought, short and blond.
When he was young he had short, blond hair. He wanted to look young again.
'Yes, I'll have short blond hair, please. Could it be a bit curly as well?'
'Curly?' asked the shop assistant.
'Yes, you know, curly – not straight!'
'Yes, Mr Smith, I know what "curly" means, but curly hair isn't very fashionable this
year.'
'Isn't it?'
'No, it isn't.'
'But I like curly hair!'

His body was now completely different.
'Am I the same man I was a few weeks ago?' thought Mr Smith. 'I have a new nose,
new hair, new ears, new eyes, hands, arms, knees and feet. But I have the same brain –
so I think I'm the same man.' He thought he was the same man but he wasn’t sure.
One morning, he woke up and his new nose didn't work.
'What’s the matter?' asked Mrs Smith.
'My new nose doesn't work – it's blocked.'
'Maybe you've got a cold,' suggested Mrs Smith.
'That’s impossible! This is a genetically engineered Bodyco nose! It doesn't get colds!'
But it was true – the new nose did not work. It was blocked and Mr Smith couldn't
smell
anything.
He went back to the Bodyco shop.
'Good morning, Mr Smith,' said the assistant. 'What would you like today?'
'I want a new nose,' said Mr Smith.
'You already want a new nose?' said the surprised shop assistant. 'But you’ve only had
this one for a month! Don't worry, small noses are still fashionable!'
'No, you don't understand,' said Mr Smith. 'I want a new nose because this one doesn't

'I'm afraid that's very difficult, Mrs Smith,' said the shop assistant. 'We are an
environmentally friendly company. All our old bodies are recycled.'
'But the new body parts that you sold him don't work! What can he do now?'
'He could buy a reconditioned body.'
'What's a "reconditioned" body?'
'It's an old body that has been modified.'
'Can I have a look at one?'
'Certainly.' The shop assistant spoke to his computer and a reconditioned body
appeared. It
was a very familiar body. Mrs Smith recognised the big nose and the grey hair.
'But that's my husband!' shouted Mrs Smith. 'That's the original Mr Smith!'
'Yes, that's right,' said the shop assistant. 'We reconditioned Mr Smith's old body.'
'Can he have his old body back then, please?'
'Certainly, Mrs Smith. That'll be 100,000 euros, please.'
'100,000 euros!' shouted Mrs Smith. 'That's very expensive, isn't it?'
'Mr Smith has been reconditioned!'
Mr Smith got his own body back, and Mrs Smith flew him back home in the aircar.
'I'm myself again!' he shouted.
'Not exactly,' said Mrs Smith. 'You have been reconditioned.'
'What does "reconditioned" mean?'
'Well,' said Mrs Smith, 'I think it means that you have a new brain!'
'I think that will be very useful,' said Mr Smith.
'I think so too, dear,' said Mrs Smith.