Jawaban:

A friend of mine on the east coast called me this morning to let me know that she adopted a kitten. Never having had a pet before, she is understandably a little nervous about what she has just gotten herself into. This is how our conversation went:

“Now that you work at a humane society, you’re like…an expert on dogs and cats now, right?” she said, wasting no time with useless pleasantries like, “hello! How are you?”

Gawd I love East Coasters.

“I suppose you could say I know a thing or too.” I responded with a chuckle.

“Ok, so I just adopted this kitten, and I need to know everything you know about how to keep cats alive,” she said, matter of factly. “Oh, and I named her Hello.”

“You named your kitten Hello?” I asked, unsure if I heard her correctly.

“Yeah, she’s a kitty, and her name is Hello.” she replied, “Get it? Hello Kitty?”

I laughed. “Yes, I get it. That’s either the dumbest name to ever name a cat, or it’s genius.” I said, “I can’t decide.”

“It’s genius.” she confirmed.

We went through some of the basics, and it was clear that she’d obviously done her homework about cats and cat behavior before plunging in. She even taught me a thing or two. She’s one of the most Type-A personalities you’ll ever meet, so I assumed there was a spreadsheet somewhere she was keeping to project manage her new life with Hello.

She started throwing me rapid fire questions about everything from nutrition to specifically how much play time she should schedule per day.

Now, thanks to my Type-A friend and her new kitten Hello, I had a great idea for my column this week! Without further ado, here are 10 things you should never do to your cat: